The statue. The piece of a statue anyway, was huge. It was enormous and I had trouble imaging how gigantic the complete statue would be. It had many surprises for us. For one, it was anatomically correct, holes an all. Yeh, you heard that right. For another, the little Wyny knew about it was disturbing. Very disturbing. As if I hadn’t had enough disturbing news and suprises lately. This one bit he told me, on top of what the zlurp had said, and together with another discovery I made, made the blood drain from my face. I had to be sure though. So I ran away. *Rustlings of leaves and all*
[Music in background]
This is Nadec, my adventure. Written down in a better way than I can tell it.
[Music louder and solo]
Episode 18: The Statue
Nadec felt guilty about the way she’d treated Wyny. He had saved and taken care of her when she had the concussion. Granted, she’d saved him more often, but that was merely part of her job. He didn’t owe her anything, yet he had decided to come along with her and help. And what did she do? She threw rocks at him when he wanted to be supportive and figure things out. Smooth, Nadec, very smooth. He didn’t appear to be disturbed about it though.
She stuffed one of the colourful rocks—a piece of what apparently used to be an enormous statue—in her bundle. She ducked to avoid walking in a spider web—she knew how strong they could be by being caught in them several times before. Many things were similar to Earth, yet with subtle —and often not so subtle—differences to The Oth—Troponia. Her giggle earned her a glance backward from Wyny, who was leading the way closer to the statue piece. With another chuckle, a wave and a shake of the head, she urged him to continue.
Not long after, they reached the statue. Nadec estimated it had taken them only about twenty minutes—including weaving around the trees and dense shrubs. She dropped her arm in irritation. The habit of having a watch was still there, but her fitness tracker had also fallen victim to the zlurp.
She looked up at the statue. Although she wasn’t happy about wasting time, it had been a good idea to check this thing out. Especially because of Wyny’s reaction, completely awe-struck.
It lay in a clearing, probably caused by its very presence. Big patches of moss covered the coloured strata on the sides. The top had grass and trees, even though it was almost as high up as the surrounding trees themselves. Nadec frowned at it. The shape was wrong, not what she’d expected a statue cutout of the pelvic area and butt to be. She could clearly see the male parts, and when she walked around, there was the leg, but instead of a buttock, another leg appeared to be attached. And that—Oh.
She squinted and leaned closer.
‘They did a very detailed job on this. I could even get in there. Is that an actual hole?’
When she moved aside the vines growing down from the front, where she supposed two female legs came together, she saw it was even more detailed than she thought at first glance. After putting Kitty on the ground, she ducked and, snorting in amusement, popped her head in the middle hole. It was wide enough at the opening for her shoulders to fit. When she squeezed her arm up, she felt it get more narrow soon, yet there was no end to the opening, not where she could reach it.
Quite moist in here. The thought made her chuckle. Kitty meowed at her feet. Nadec ducked out of the cavern and patted him on the head before lifting him for a cuddle.
‘I’m alright buddy,’ she whispered, ‘thanks for your concern’.
‘Is there anything else you know about this statue, Wyny?’
He stiffened at that. Pagewyn was what he preferred, and he didn’t care much for the nickname she’d given him. All the more reason to keep calling him that, she thought. He’ll grow to like it eventually.
‘It was obviously a woman and a man, standing back to back. Why? Who were they? You said it had a lot of power and that’s why they pulled it apart and dispersed it. But how? How could they’ve cut those pieces and moved them?’
She kept walking around until she returned to the male side.
‘And why do they have holes in them? Anatomically correct holes for that matter?’
Wyny kept quiet for a while, studying her and the statue. She let him. If there was one habit of him she knew by now, it was his thoughtful manner. He liked to think and ruminate before speaking. Usually. He sighed deeply before replying.
‘I do not know the answer to many of those questions.’ He turned his head away and his shoulders came forward. ‘This has not been part of the lessons I received. I—’ he glanced at her, pulled his shoulders back and lifted his head up high again. ‘I will admit that I have not been raised to be a ruler. I, more than likely, received more education than many other people, but on a decent amount of topics, I lack an embarrassing portion of knowledge. Come to think of it, it is almost as if… No matter.
‘Here is the little I know of the statue. Evidently the things I told you before, and this: while it was still in one piece, it could enhance objects. Legend says that, for instance, feeding a weapon through one of their mouths, would improve it. I suppose I never understood this. I always assumed it was merely a manner of speech. But,’ he cleared his throat and his cheeks turned a shade more red, ‘I can see now how it would have worked. I believe the weapon would go through the body, receive its power, and come out the natural way.’ He managed to say that last sentence without tripping over the words from shame, even though the colour in his cheeks remained.
During his talk, Nadec had taken her halberd from her back, keeping the shaft short. She looked at it now, lost in thought. Ever-sharp blade. It sounded supernatural. Could it have been passed through the statue? If so, that would make the weapon even more special. She looked up.
‘You think…?’
He nodded. ‘I believe it is most likely one of the PPW.’ His eyes opened wide. ‘Well! I never thought much about that classification until now! PP—pee pee—W stands for powerpooped weapon. That makes a whole lot of sense now.’
‘Powerpooped weapons?’ Nadec’s voice was incredulous. Then she let out a deep and genuine laugh. ‘That’s the best thing I’ve heard in ages!’ Another bellow of laughter doubled her up, before she dropped back on the ground. ‘And I suppose not many of these PPW are left and it’s been considered a myth by many people?’
‘Well. If my opinion counts as the general opinion, then yes. I never thought they were real. When I saw your blade, I suppose it did cross my mind but I could not believe it. Until now.’
Typical. Another trope. Special, power wrought weapons, lost to most. It probably was connected to the statue and could be used to find all the parts. That would be the perfect additional trope. She snort-chuckled at the absurdity, but it broke off as she laid a hand on the blade. Stories from people feeling the blood drain from their faces had always seemed silly to her, but she believed them now. She felt herself grow a shade paler.
Wyny asked what was wrong, although his voice sounded muffled, as if underwater. The halberd’s blade was hot. Not warm from the sun heating it up, but hot as if it should be blazing red. Yet, it didn’t hurt her. She shook her head. No. She stood up and ran away as fast as she could, ignoring Wyny’s shouts. Faint rustling followed her.
She stopped after a minute and felt the blade again. It was still hot, but somehow she could tell it was less than before. ‘No.’ Her voice was quiet like whispers of a breeze through trees. The zlurp had been telling the truth. Heir to a royal family. Perhaps even a descendant of these Originals, connected to the statue. Or perhaps you’re being foolish, everyone could have been giving this halberd, it doesn’t make them royalty.
Yes, maybe it was a coincidence. But she trusted her gut feeling. She walked back toward the statue and Wyny, scooping up Kitty on her way, fussing with twigs which had gotten stuck in his lead. Her gut told her it was true; her parents had been rulers of a kingdom, not hard-working business people on Earth as she grew up believing. They’d been eliminated by throne usurpers. So much more made sense with that in mind. Their business trips. The sneaky looks toward each other. The obvious secrets they were hiding. She was a princess. Or, with her parents gone, was she a queen instead? No. No, no, no. One needs to be crowned first before being called a queen. What a mess.
She was a gorwakgutsing princess.
Thank you for listening to Nadec, episode 18: The Statue
Narrated by myself, Nadec. Adventure by and lived through by Nadec. Written in a better way than I can tell it, by Astrid Jef.
Don’t go just yet, we’ve got bloopers coming up. Before we get to those, [music on background] we just want to say that if you head over to astridjef.com, you can find transcripts and full chapters of this podcast. Even more, you can find the unedited draft of Nadec at least up to 15 chapters further than the podcast goes. So if you’re keen to know how the story continues, you have the option to go and read. Find us on Twitter @astridjef and @nadecandkitty.
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**bloopers**